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Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There never was any light bulb.
Q: how many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: the question is irrelevant since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many.
Q: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
Q: How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ---- You should have hit ``n!''
Q: How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 51. One to change the bulb, and fifty to sing about the bulb being changed.
Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
A2: Five: One to hold the bulb, and four to guzzle beer until the room spins.
A3: None. Frat boys screw in puddles of vomit.
Q: How many Harvard grads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
A2: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
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Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile...
Q: How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; assholes never see the light anyway.
Q: How many Necrophiliacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None. Necrophiliacs prefer dead bulbs.
A2: Only one. ``Oh, excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?''
Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Q: How many WASP Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to get a Tab and one to call Daddy.
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?
Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 151, one to screw the light-bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace. (Warning: do not tell this to Romulans or be ready for a fight. They consider this joke to be a disgrace, though it is not bad for a LBJ.)
Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Many hands make light work.
Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000
Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.
Q: How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them.
Q: How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it in, and another to say ``Sock it to Me.'' (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, the phrase was from Laugh In.)
Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A1: No, big daddy, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
A2: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen in on the guest list.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
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