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Q: How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only one.
Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!!!
Q1: How many 'Cliffie girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's ``Radcliffe Women'' and it's not funny!
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A2: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many Valley Girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Oooh, like, manual labor? Gag me with a spoon! For sure.
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Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three:
one to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and
one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: A tree in a golden forest.
A2: Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
A3: One to change and one not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four. One to change the bulb.
A4:None. Zen masters carry their own light.
Q: How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Billions and billions.
Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ``Fabulous.''
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
Q: How many <ethnics> does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
Q: How many strong <ethnics> does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 115. One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.
Q: How many <ethnic> gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
Q: How many people does it take to throw away a one WATT bulb??
A: Five. A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: How many can you afford?
A2: It only takes one to change your bulb...to his.
A3: Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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